Saying sorry is difficult enough when you have to apologize to an adult, but it's even harder when we have to make amends with a child. Regardless of whether your child is three or thirty, if you ignore the wrongdoing and don’t address how your actions made your child feel, you can potentially cause long-lasting damage (and waste a great teachable moment).
Mighty Mommy has experienced her share of parenting mess-ups over the years, but has learned that the sooner you make it right with your child, the better. Here are four ways to say you’re sorry and let the healing begin.
4 Ways to Say You’re Sorry
- Own Your Wrong
- Make an Age-Appropriate Apology
- Make It Right
- Creative Ways to Apologize
Let's explore each one more closely:
Own Your Wrong
I’m a pretty emotional person so I tend to parent with my heart on my sleeve. Because of that, when I do something that isn't great, I sense it instantly.
For example, this past week my son who is away at college is living off campus this year. Because of that, he doesn’t eat at the university cafeteria. We budgeted an amount that would cover his groceries and I regularly load a shopping card at a nearby store as well.
He’s approaching graduation this spring and without my knowledge, he and his father decided that he should quit his part-time job as a lifeguard so he could focus on wrapping up his senior year. Weeks later, I learned of this news when I called to make sure he knew I’d added money to his grocery card. He thanked me and casually mentioned he’d quit his job because his father thought it was best. Without waiting to hear any of the reasons behind this decision, I made a snarky comment that I didn’t appreciate his getting to take it easy while I would probably be picking up the financial slack to cover his spending money.
Not one of my finest moments.
After we ended the conversation, I sat quietly for several minutes replaying my response in my mind. I immediately began to justify my harsh reaction, but then I realized that I was rationalizing. I had the choice of how to respond and I chose to judge him rather than letting him explain his reasons.
The first step in apologizing is reflecting on what you did...
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