When you’re the parent of tweens and teens, summer vacation has an entirely different flavor.
The last couple of months of school, all I heard about were the highly anticipated months of summer. No more homework, a break from team practices, sleeping in, lazy days at the beach, and spending their precious time relaxing, soaking in the sun, and grazing on anything and everything that we had in the fridge and pantry. Sign me up!
Years ago, when it came to summer vacation, after I finished crying when the school bus rumbled out of our neighborhood on that last day of school (begging our driver not to forget to return in early September) I gathered my energy, our sand pails and shovels, along with my 20-page “Summer Fun” list and hit the ground running. No way would I fall victim to any child of mine touting that they were bored and whining that there was nothing to do. Their childhood summer’s would hold memories of playing at the shore, running in the park, catching fireflies, and making ooey, gooey s’mores—no matter what.
Looking back, those years when my kids were younger and needed constant supervision throughout the balmy months of summer are almost a distant blur, but because I was a stay-at-home mom (who left the home far more than stayed in it!) I do recall the many days where sand scattered across our hardwood floors was definitely the norm and packing up the car with 8 kids and all their paraphernalia all summer long was how I rolled.
Now, my tweens and teens are finding that summer vacation can actually be a little boring because they no longer have their mom to act as an Activities Director to keep their time filled with all kinds of fun-in-the-sun events and happenings like in year's past.
Here's five tips to keep your teen or tween on track:
#1. Get Your Teen Involved in the Planning
For years my 8 kids were used to stepping off the school bus on the last day of school only to be greeted with their favorite homemade cookies, ice cold lemonade and the infamous “Butler Summer To Do List.” This was a combined list of several things each child, including mom and dad, wanted to do that summer. The fun part was sitting down with each of them a month before school let out and hearing how excited they would be about their plans. Once they hit their tween and teen years, however, the excitement of visiting amusement parks and hiking trails was replaced with how much time they would be able to spend lounging on the couch, with their electronics and absolutely no schedule at all.
Dr. Michael Bradley, psychologist and author of Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind, believes that what teens do in the summer is more important than how they spend their time during the school year. In Summer Activities for Teens: 5 Ways to Make Everyone in the Family Happy “Summer is unstructured time,” he explains, “without the demands of school projects, sports teams, and sometimes 18-hour days.” Bradley advises parents to come up with a possible list of summer activities for teens. Put some ideas out there. “Then let your teens decide what they want to do.”
So just because your kids are driving or even starting part-time summer jobs, it’s still vital to brainstorm ideas that they can participate in throughout the 10 weeks of vacation. Down time is definitely important but we don’t let that become the only focal point of their time off. Even my kids who are home from college are invited to give suggestions on how they want to see their time flow throughout the summer. This allows for lazy time, but sets the expectation that we still want to see them involved in activities and keeping up with household chores etc. all summer long.
#2. Get Cooking
All 8 of my kids can cook and even better, clean up after themselves in the kitchen. When I went back to work full-time about five years ago, I had at least 4 teens in my midst. We all knew that dinner on the table by 6 PM was not going to be the new norm, but with a large family (and 5 growing boys!) hearty meals were still a must. We live near a university and several years ago a cooking class was offered for kids ages 13 and up. I was pleasantly surprised that a couple of them wanted to attend. Two weeks later, they were cooking up a storm and it hasn’t slowed down a bit.
I do most of the cooking during the school year but with the kids home for summer vacation, we came up with a schedule where my tweens and teens have taken over the kitchen and prepare most of our family’s meals all week long. The ones that drive even do the grocery shopping most weeks. Being responsible for family mealtime keeps my teens on a schedule and gives them a sense of pride and purpose when the rest of us sit down to enjoy one of their creations.
#3. Apply for A Summer Job
There are so many reasons why a teen should get a job as soon as they are legally able to, which in most states is the age of 15 with working papers, or age 16 without. It teaches them independence, responsibility, and how to manage their own finances. I’ve found that getting a job while young prepares kids for the future. Work experience will look good on their college applications, as well as future job applications. It also helps fill up a few good hours of the 10 weeks they have free during the summer months.
There are so many different jobs your teens can do. Some examples are:
Babysitting: They can sign up for a babysitting course and get their certification to babysit.
Lifeguard: Again they can become certified to work as a lifeguard at a local community pool or at the beach.
Dog Walker: Does your teen like pets? Many people work all day and need a person that can take their dog out for a walk each afternoon. My tween daughter doe this in our neighborhood and is in high-demand!
Lawn Mowing: This is a great way for a teenager to make money, and my kids have also used these same neighbors and customers to do snow shoveling in the winter!
Cashier/Stocker: Stock shelves, help customers find merchandise, and ring them up at checkout. Many of today’s kids don’t even know how to count back change (which I think is a small crime!) because the electronic registers do everything for them, so that makes being a cashier even easier.
Fast Food: My first “real” job after babysitting was working in a fast-food pizza joint. I have the best memories from working at this place. I worked for two great managers, and within a year, I was promoted to an assistant manager, which taught me a whole new set of responsibilities. Also I earned lots more money to put away for college and my first car.
Zoo/Aquarium Assistant: If you’ve got a zoo nearby, you’ve got job opportunities. Zoos hire teens for seasonal jobs ranging from “landscape attendant” to “young docents.” You probably won’t have access to the elephant’s living area, but then again, someone needs to clean up after them!
Movie Theater Worker: Take tickets, serve popcorn, clean popcorn off the floor, and become very familiar with all the summer hits.
Camp Counselor: Sing camp songs, teach crafts, and become a kid’s hero for the summer. These positions tend to be popular, so if you missed the application period for this summer, put it on your to-do list for next year.
#4. Set a Summer Goal
The weeks of summer vacation are a wonderful opportunity to set one or two personal goals or goals for the upcoming school year or for an athletic team they might be playing on. I read a wonderful article, Smart Goal Setting for Teens that I printed and shared with my own kids. One of their tips was to make goal setting as engaging as possible because as we know, our tweens and teens do have many distractions—electronics, crushes and dating, hanging out with friends, getting lazy on the couch watching TV and many more.
Here are the points the article made to effectively help your teen work on his/her own personal goals:
- Make it a game – Use goals in healthy competition. Challenge teens to achieve their goal(s) prior to you achieving yours. Find something they’d really like and use it as a bonus (try not to make it material – a good reward is more privileges such as a later curfew). Trust me, if your teen can set and accomplish goals, that’s a great indicator of trustworthiness.
- Make it a group activity – It can be helpful to include additional friends and family members in the process. It may be challenging trying to get your teen to open up in larger groups, but if you can, this can dramatically heighten their engagement and the impact of goal-setting.
- Start with a bucket list – Creating a list of things he or she wants to do in life is a great way to engage and excite your teen about the ways goal-setting can help.
- Graduation speech – Thinking about major upcoming events like giving a graduation speech can be extremely impactful and emotional for your teens. A great way to start a goal-setting discussion is for them to imagine speaking to all their friends and family about what’s important to them and what they’ve accomplished. This organically helps them start the process of understanding what is important and where they need to focus their goals. It can also be a great tool for building intrinsic motivation, as many kids have a hard time conceiving life beyond the next 24 hours.
- Use visual aids and technology – It can be very helpful to think beyond the pad and pencil. So many tools exist today that allow us to express ourselves. Many people create dream boards and set goals on Pinterest and other social media sites. Through these sites, they can express their goals through pictures, video, music and imagery. Consider utilizing the multitude of apps that exist today that make goal setting much more engaging. Or you can always go back to the basics with poster board and let them cut up magazines to create dream boards and set goals for realizing them. This can be a useful visual that hangs on the wall as a constant reminder of where they should be spending their time and focus.
#5. Volunteering
Volunteering offers numerous benefits to those involved, but can also be a life-changing experience when it becomes a permanent part of your children’s lives. With more down time during the summer months, your tweens and teens can get involved with an organization that holds interest to them, like an animal shelter or as a mother’s helper to a family in the neighborhood that has young kids home and underfoot all summer long.
Here are a few ideas to get you started looking for that perfect volunteering opportunity. Remember that you don’t have to volunteer at a major facility or organization. There are hundreds of smaller, more focused volunteer opportunities available no matter where you live.
- Community Volunteering – Check out your local museums and libraries for child volunteer programs. You can also search for local food pantries to help stock, prepare, and/or serve the food to the needy. Or, you could seek out local retirement facilities where your child could visit the elderly and help out around the facility. (My kids visit a local nursing home once a week and they love it!) Older people have time on their hands to listen to younger people, while we parents don’t always have that kind of extra time.
- Volunteering to Help Animals – Does your child love animals? If so, there are many opportunities out there. Give a call to your local Humane Society. They are usually excited to bring in volunteers who can help with the animals or simply provide some temporary companionship. You may also think about calling your local Wildlife Foundation for information on their volunteer programs.
- Sponsor Someone Special – There are programs available to let you sponsor a family, a soldier, or another child who is in need of help in some way. This will not take a lot of time, but can bring so much joy and happiness to the lives of everyone involved. Our school has a pen pal program for students to write to soldiers overseas. My brother and nephew serve in the U.S. Army overseas, and they often tell me about how much happiness those letters bring to them and their troops.
How does your teen stay busy in the summer? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section at http://ift.tt/1zMEe2L, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page, or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com.
Also visit my family-friendly boards at http://ift.tt/1wyJKr5.
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