6 Ideas to Help Your Child Have the Best Summer Ever

Families everywhere are eagerly anticipating the long, lazy days of summer especially if the school year has been hectic and most likely overscheduled.  Summer vacation is indeed a special stretch of time when everyone can unwind, and stray a bit from the rigid schedules that are followed throughout the school year.

Now that backpacks and lunchboxes have been neatly tucked away for the next couple of months here are Mighty Mommy’s 6 fun ideas to help your child have his/her best summer ever

Tip #1: Create a Summer “To Do” List

During the last week of school, my family creates our Summer “To Do” List. I design a page on the computer with seashells, beach umbrellas, and anything else that means summer.

Then everyone in the family (including Mom and Dad) list at least two fun things that they’d like to do. Items this year include deep sea fishing, white-water rafting, attending our local country fair, making homemade truffles, and creating a home movie theater in our family room.  The object of the list is to make sure each family member gets to do a couple of things that they really want besides the usual going to the beach or pool, seeing movies, etc. 

Tip #2:  Establish Regular Down Time

For many years I had 8 young kids under the age of 12 home for the 10 weeks of summer vacation.  I remember the painstaking hours I would spend planning hours and hours of activities that would keep them entertained and happy while they were out of school.  If you think you have to entertain your kids all day long during summer vacation, I hope you’ll pay close attention to this tip—instead of trying to occupy the majority of their free time, instead,  establish regular quiet time for every member of the family, every day of the week.

I used to set the kitchen timer when they were younger to cue them in that it was down time.  Many afternoons we only took about 30 minutes to sneak off to our bedrooms with a book to read, or to just take a quick powernap.  The idea is to teach your kids to settle down and learn to spend some quality time alone. This way, you can all finish out the day a bit more refreshed, and more importantly, the kids will learn to rely on themselves to stay occupied once in a while so you don’t have to be their constant source of entertainment.

Tip #3:  Try Something New This Summer

Summer is the perfect time to get creative and try something new.  There’s no pressure with school activities or organized sports so with a bit more free time in your schedule encourage your kids to give a new hobby a try.   Pottery, snorkeling, kayaking, pastry making, horseback riding or perhaps learning CPR.  Trying new activities are a great way to expand your child’s horizons and let them discover some new talents.  What a fun way to enjoy summer break and then return to the new school year with some new experiences to share with classmates and teachers.

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Tip #4:  Set Aside Daily Fun Time

One of my favorite summer memories with my kids was the year we built our own waterpark in our backyard.  Between our gigantic blow-up pool, the 10 different sprinklers, the slip and slide plastic runway and the blow-up mattress we placed in the backyard with a makeshift fountain, my kids and I spent hours throughout the week (even on a rainy day!) staying cool and having a blast playing in our own waterpark.  Whether it’s collecting fire flies on a hot summer night or going to a drive-in movie theater, do at least one thing a day to connect and have fun.

To this day, my kids who have graduated from college and are living on their own still talk about memories like our waterpark summer or the year we visited nearly every ice cream shop in our state.  It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant—it’s spending quality time with your kids that make a difference and make them remember these special summer weeks.

Tip #5.  Start New Traditions

One way to get kids away from their electronics this summer and engaged is to introduce them to new traditions.

Traditions do not have to be elaborate and fussy. There are many things you do daily that, if done consistently, can become cherished rituals that your kids will lovingly pass onto their own children. 

Take bedtime for instance. Bedtime rituals are now in decline because of the stress so many families face at the end of their busy days. Without regular bedtime structure, it’s difficult to establish rituals. Instead, children are staying up late – watching television, exchanging instant messages, playing video games, or doing homework – until they decide they are ready for bed. A lot of young children fall asleep somewhere in the house and are carried to bed by a parent. At that point, a bedtime ritual involving talking about the day, storytelling, or reading is not possible. If this sounds like your family, take steps to slowly re-establish calm bedtime routines.

See also: How Routines Will Simplify Your Life

Sharing dinner together as a family on a regular basis is also becoming more difficult for many households. If dinner isn’t possible, how about breakfast? A bowl of cereal and hot chocolate is a great way to start your day off on a positive note and connect with one another before all going your separate ways. If you have a pet, you can create a ritual around their care as well. 

For instance, every day one of our kids takes our two dogs for a walk in the neighborhood before dinner. As my colleague The Dog Trainer would certainly agree, the two dogs have come to expect this ritual every day, and it’s a great way for both the pets and kids to get some exercise. 

Tip # 6: Create Summer Surprises

Summer is the perfect time to surprise your kids.  After a long year of structured school regimens, pull out all the stops and treat your kids to a summer full of surprises.  When my kids were younger we planned weekly mystery rides for them.  We picked a location within driving distance and gave them a few clues on the morning of our departure.  Occasionally they’d figure out where we were headed, but the majority of the time they were totally surprised.

Maybe there’s a place they’ve been longing to visit during the school year, or a weekend getaway that won’t break the bank but will leave a lasting impression on them.  Or perhaps your child worked extra hard this past school year and has earned himself a new iPod.  She may have a close friend who has moved away and you can arrange for the two pals to meet up at your house for a week.  Getting her ears pierced may be on her “to do” list or your son has been really wanting a new pet chameleon.  Even if it’s making sure her favorite ice cream is stocked each week or you leave a fun surprise under his pillow once a week, unexpected surprises will create excitement and lots of wonderful memories for your child this summer.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section at http://ift.tt/1zMEe2L, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at http://ift.tt/1wyJKr5.

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9 Hidden Signs of Perfectionism

While calling something “perfect” is the highest of compliments—a perfectly done steak, a perfect Olympic performance, the perfect prom dress—calling someone a perfectionist is anything but.

Why? It implies a fussy control freak who can’t relax. Perfectionists have a reputation of being hard-driving. Uncompromising. Relentless. And often, it turns out, very successful. Steve Jobs was a notorious perfectionist. Martha Stewart calls herself a “maniacal perfectionist.” Serena Williams proudly wears the perfectionist label.

All three of these people—and likely some of the perfectionists you know (maybe even you)—have risen to the heights of their field, made themselves rich and famous, and have delivered great work. But not without cost.

It’s these costs—anger, stress, abrasiveness, being seen as picky, rigid, or over-controlling—that makes most people shun the perfectionist label.

As a result, perfectionists almost never claim to be perfectionists. And further, because the label is a misnomer, most perfectionists don’t even realize they’re perfectionists.

How is it a misnomer? Contrary to the name, most perfectionists aren’t driven by the pursuit of perfection, they’re driven by the avoidance of failure. Being a perfectionist isn’t about being perfect, it’s about never being good enough.

Should you call yourself a perfectionist? There are some common characteristics, like doing things well, thoroughly, or efficiently. Indeed, sweating the small stuff is an advantage when it comes to impressing the boss, turning out a restaurant-worthy dinner party, or organizing the garage with the intricacy of a game of Tetris.

But it can be a hindrance when you spend so much time tinkering that you never actually get a project done, get sucked so far into the details that you lose the forest for the trees, or insist that the two sides to every argument are your way and the wrong way.

But there are also lesser-known signs of perfectionism. For starters, here are 9 of them. Are you a *perfect* match? (Sorry, couldn’t resist).

Sign #1: You always look great.

You never seem to have a bad hair day; your outfit always looks pulled together. No chipped nail polish or two-day stubble for you, plus it’s not painful for others to look at you (every mother of a tween boy knows what I mean—”No, you cannot wear mid-calf socks and Adidas slides to Uncle Melvin’s funeral!”)

Now, you might be the type of perfectionist who doesn’t care what they look like—you might save your perfectionism for other domains. Steve Jobs reportedly wore a black turtleneck and Levi’s every day so he didn’t have to waste neurons on deciding what to wear.

On the other hand, carried to an extreme, being perfectionistic about appearance is a big risk factor for eating disorders. Anorexia is often lethal. And bulimia and binge eating are often signs of cracks in a perfectionistic facade—all the pressure you put on yourself has to escape at some point, in this case through a binge on decidedly imperfect foods.

Sign #2: You keep ideas and projects to yourself until they’re fully formed.

Unlike Saturday Night Live, you prefer not to broadcast your ideas or what you’re working on until they’re ready for prime time. The prospect of presenting something half-baked is as abhorrent as going out half-naked. In brainstorming sessions at work, you wonder how people can offer up such bad ideas without being embarrassed. You marvel not only at how they’re not afraid for their underdone ideas to fail, but how sometimes, they hit on something big. You wish you could spitball with them, but it just doesn’t feel safe.

Sign #3: Lists!

Lists and calendars and schedules, oh my! You are organized and efficient. The upside is that you get the most out of your time. You’re productive and get things done effectively and well—nothing wrong with that at all.

But sometimes productivity isn’t the goal. With an overly-rigid schedule or a laser focus on checking off to-dos, it can be hard to be flexible, to find time to spontaneously chit-chat, or to have those unscheduled run-ins and conversations that are not only fun, but deepen your relationships and spark creativity.

Sign #4: It’s tough to relax.

Or kick back, or relax, or let loose. Feeling restless and driven often gets mistaken for being a workaholic, but underneath is usually deep-seated perfectionism.  

If this is you, unstructured time feels wrong—there’s something else you could be doing. You resent the hours it takes to go for a hike, watch a movie, or play a softball game with your friends because it’s such a time and energy suck. You may leave your vacation time on the table because breaks interrupt your routine. And holidays are the best time to get stuff done because no one else is around to bother you.

Likewise, you’ve tried, but you just can’t meditate. You’re not sure if you’re doing it right, and that makes it stressful. Plus, just sitting there trying to be in the now makes you restless—it feels like you’re wasting time.

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Sign #5: You can’t concentrate if your surroundings aren’t clean.

In many people’s experience, it’s true that outer order equals inner calm. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being neat and organized, but it can also a hidden sign of perfectionism. Preferring outer order is fine if it’s not getting in your way, but check for these three things:

• Does clearing clutter, cleaning, and organizing takes so much time and energy it leaves you unable to do what you’re supposed to be doing?
• Are you unable to transition away from cleaning, making you chronically late or stressed?
• Or, is following your partner around with a vacuum or criticism straining your relationship?

Sign #6. You procrastinate.

Procrastination doesn’t look like perfectionism on the surface. Instead, it often looks like laziness or distractibility. But if you’re worried there’s no way you can meet your own standards or that you’ll make the wrong decision and later regret it, it’s understandable that you put off writing that term paper, moving forward on home renovations, or settling on a vacation destination.

Sign #7: You do one of two things when it comes to decision-making.

These two decision-making methods appear totally different, but both are rooted in perfectionism.

The first is taking a long time to make a decision because you worry it won’t be right. You stand in your closet trying to decide what to wear while your whole family is waiting in the car, or you’re still staring at the menu while the waiter glances at his watch. You hate Costco and IKEA because too many choices make you feel paralyzed.

The second method is that you are very decisive because you know the “right” way. You automatically hire the “best” contractor, go to the “best” hairstylist, and only get croissants at the “best” bakery. If someone offers to bring a dish to supper, you send them a recipe or tell them exactly where to pick up the ingredients.

Sign #8: You can’t delegate.

It’s better just to do it yourself.  If someone else does it, things never turn out the way you want and you’d have to redo it anyway. When you do it yourself, things get done to your high standards, but as a result, everything takes longer and you’re exhausted from taking on so much.

Sign #9: You hate waste.

You can’t bear to waste time, food, money, or energy.

You can’t bear to waste time, food, money, or energy. Walking away from sunk costs or abandoning a project makes you feel queasy—you’d rather fight through and make it right. A full fridge makes you anxious because so much food has the potential to go to waste. You can’t bear to leave miles or points on the table, even if it means ending up with a rewards subscription for socks (which is a thing, apparently). More seriously, you may even stay in a bad relationship because of all the time and energy you’ve already invested.

So what should you do if you said, “That’s me!” to any of the 9 signs? Is this a problem? Indeed, what’s so bad about being organized, hardworking, and looking fabulous all the time?

Well, since you asked, here’s the line: Perfectionism works against you when your high standards and hard work are driven by fear.  

It’s fine to work hard and aim high when you love what you’re doing and want it to be the best it can be. But it’s another thing to become paralyzed or consumed due to a fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of being judged or rejected, or fear that you can’t compensate enough for your inherent inadequacies.

For me, making lists and being detail-oriented works well—it makes me efficient and able to balance a dozen different hats.

But perfectionism trips me up, too. I don’t like to tell anyone I’m working on something until it’s done or nearly done, so I miss out on feedback that, ironically, could have made it better. I’m still learning how to delegate and have a history of being overly picky, but I’m getting better at letting things go.

For you, if you think your life might be better if you loosened your grip, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Some aspects of your perfectionism are likely propelling you forward. Keep those. But you can work on the places perfectionism is holding you back. (And maybe even resist making them into a list). 

Get more savvy by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or get the episode delivered straight to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter.  Plus, follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

The Takeover of Wyatt Earp

You may have heard of Wyatt Earp before, known as the frontier lawman of the American West. Surviving countless gunfights, he may seem aggressive, but Wyatt's demeanor was actually very toned back. He became a master at impressing and intimidating people through his looks. These tricks led him to Dodge City, Kansas, the most violent town in the West, in the hopes to restore order.

Here's the second installment of the Unknown History podcast featuring guest host Tom Clavin, where he talks about his book Dodge City.  Listen in the top right hand player or on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Spotify to learn more about:

• Wyatt's appearance

• Why Wyatt came to Dodge City 

• How he became the Dodge City Marshall

Pick up a copy of Dodge City: Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson, and the Wickedest Town in the American West, from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Booksamillion, or iBooks--or if you prefer to listen, check out the audiobook on Audible. Check out a special bonus audiobook clip below:

Commas with Transition Words

Two weeks ago, we talked about comma splices—errors that happen when you join two main clauses with just a comma--but you can make the same kind of mistake if you aren’t careful when joining two main clauses with conjunctive adverbs such as however, therefore, furthermore, and nevertheless.

Two Main Clauses

Remember, a main clause, also known as an independent clause, is just something that could be a complete sentence if it were all by itself. If you’re joining two main clauses with a conjunctive adverb, you need a semicolon before that adverb, and a comma after. That adverb needs to be snuggled between a semicolon and a comma.

Think about this example. Imagine I’m worried about a library book that is due tomorrow:

I’m not finished reading it; moreover, I left it at Steve’s house.

I’m not finished reading it is a main clause, and I left it at Steve’s house is a main clause, so I need a semicolon before moreover and a comma after it. 

Or, in the same way you can fix a comma splice with a period, I could also separate the two main clauses with a period:

I’m not finished reading it. Moreover, I left it at Steve’s house.

And now this is where it gets tricky because sometimes conjunctive adverbs come in the middle of your sentence and aren’t followed by a main clause, and then you can just sandwich them between two commas. Here are some examples of sentences like that:

I’ll wager, moreover, that the library won’t cut me any slack on the fine. 

Fines are, however, an important tool the library uses to get people to return books on time.

In both those sentence, the part after the adverb isn’t a main clause, so I just used a comma before and after the words moreover and however. 

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Semicolons with Transition Words

The same rules apply to transition words and phrases such as for example, in other words, and on the other hand,

If you’re joining two main clauses, you use a semicolon and comma just like you did before, but if the part after the transition isn’t a main clause, then you use two commas.

First think about this example:

I might be able to get it back in time; for example, I could ask Steve to bring it by before work.

I might be able to get it back in time is a main clause, and so is I could ask Steve to bring it by before work, so I snuggle for example between a semicolon and a comma.

Commas with Transition Words

Now think about this example:

I could ask Steve to bring it by, for example, before work or during his lunch hour.

Now the part after for example is just a couple of prepositional phrases, not a main clause, so you don’t need a semicolon. You just use two commas--one before for example and one after. 

It all depends on whether the part that comes after the transition is a main clause or not, and it’s easy to get distracted, but just remember with a main clause after your transition word, you need a semicolon before and a comma after, and without a main clause, you can get away with two commas.

Exercises

Here are some practice sentence. Fill in the right punctuation:

1. You need to help with the housework furthermore I need a vacation.
2. Bring Squiggly something he’ll like for example chocolate mousse or cheesecake.
3. This test will make up 50 percent of your grade therefore it’s important that you study.
4. We will therefore double our practice schedule.
5. You have cleaning responsibilities in this house namely your bathroom and your bedroom.
6. Jimmy threw a rock at the beehive consequently all the kids got stung.
7. Aardvark is however the best fisherman on the bass circuit.
8. Mandy practices piano all day similarly you can’t tear Brandon away from his violin.
9. I cooked Sammy’s favorite dinner nevertheless he wouldn’t come out of his room.
10. Not enough players showed up in other words they had to forfeit the game.

What Is a Double Whammy?

Have you ever been hit with a double whammy?

It’s a double-dose of luck so bad it feels like a one–two punch.

Maybe your rent came due the same day as your car payment. That’s a double whammy. Or your girlfriend dumped you right after your lost your job. Ouch. Double whammy.

But what is a whammy? And why exactly does it come in pairs?

From the best we can tell, whammy came into use in the 1940s. It probably came from the rather dull wham (meaning a blow) made cute and fanciful with an –y ending. Back then, it was used to denote a hex or evil influence.

Whammy showed up frequently in sports coverage. For example, if your baseball team were losing, you might complain that someone put a whammy on you.

The term double whammy came into play a bit later. Its origins can be traced back to the Lil’ Abner comics by cartoonist Al Capp. A 1951 strip features Evil-Eye Fleegle, a zoot-suit-wearing native of Brooklyn. In the comic, Fleegle boasts that he can “putrefy citizens” just by giving them his evil eye.

One eye’s a single whammy. But if he stares at them with “th’ full power o’ both eyes,” well, according to Fleegle, that’s a double whammy, “which I hopes I never hafta use.” Look out.

Though its association with actual curses has since faded, the term double whammy still means bad things are afoot, and remains a useful expression to this day. Just hope you never have to use it.

So there’s your tidbit for today: a double whammy is a double-dose of misfortune.

Samantha Enslen runs Dragonfly Editorial. You can find her at dragonflyeditorial.com or @DragonflyEdit.

Sources

Ammer, Christine. Double whammy. American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms, 2nd ed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2013.

Dent, Susie. Double whammy. Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, 19th ed. Chambers Harrap, 2012.

Oxford English Dictionary, online edition. Double whammy Oxford University Press (subscription required, accessed February 9, 2017).

5 Tips for Picking the Perfect Paint Palette

Keeping Track of Paint Colors

If you’ve tried saving your paint swatches in the past and can never find them when you need them, try this simple trick: Write the name and type of paint you used for each room under the light switch plate. That way, you’ll know where the info is when you need it.

Glass Pieces

Your friend has some leftover paint, but you’re not sure what it will look like when it dries. To find out, try this simple trick: Paint a piece of glass (a microscope slide works well, if you have one), then look at the color from the non-painted side. It will reflect what the dried color will look like.

Don’t Let Your White Paint Yellow

When painting walls and ceilings white, it’s best to add several drops of black paint into each can of white. Why? The paint will cover with fewer coats, and be more reflective. Many experts say it will also cause the paint to yellow less quickly.

Make Your Own Swatch Book

When painting your house, it’s always a good idea to keep track of paint colors—you may need them to match future paint jobs or to help you coordinate other items in the house. Create swatches by dipping a 3-by-5-inch index card into your paint can and writing down the details.

Opt for “Oops Paint”

To save money on painting costs, check out the “oops paint” section (yes, that’s really what it’s called) of your local hardware store. You’ll find great deals on brand new cans of custom paint returned by customers who didn’t like the color. It’s a great way to find a color for an accent wall or even a primer at a huge discount. You’ll pay anywhere from one to five dollars per can, rather than $20 and up.

For everyday tips and lifehacks, tune in to the Who Knew podcast on iTunes and Stitcher! And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

7 Hacks on Removing and Installing Wallpaper

Removing Wallpaper

First, score the paper with a utility knife by cutting slashes through several parts of the paper. Then, dab on a mixture of half water and half liquid fabric softener. Leave on for 10-15 minutes, then watch your old wallpaper peel right off.

Wallpaper Remover

Redoing a room with a wallpaper border? Easily remove it by blowing hot air from a hair dryer on it. The heat will loosen the glue and it will peel right off.

Got Grease Stains on Your Wall?

If grease is still visible on the wall after removing wallpaper, apply a coat of clear varnish to the spots. The grease won’t soak through to the new wallpaper.

Hang It More Easily

Take your wallpaper out of its roll a few days before you hang it and re-roll it the opposite way. It will make it flatter and easier to hang.

Wallpaper 101

Hanging wallpaper? Get help from a paint roller. First, try using a paint roller instead of a sponge to apply paste for a more even consistency. You can also use a clean, dry paint roller to smooth out the wallpaper afterward. You’ll get more coverage per stroke.

Repairing Rips

If your wallpaper needs a fix-up in a small area, don’t use scissors to cut off the replacement piece. Instead, tear it off with your hands. The ragged edge of the new piece will blend in better than a straight edge.

Get Creative with Wallpaper Scraps

You’ve just finished a big wallpaper job and have at least a half a roll left. Use your scraps to decorate accessories in the room. Cover the fronts of drawers or cabinets, even the backs of chairs! Wallpaper can also be used to cover notebooks, pencil cases, and other office supplies.

For everyday tips and lifehacks, tune in to the Who Knew podcast on iTunes and Stitcher! And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter.