Is It Time to Raise Your EQ? Here's How to Do It in 3 Steps

If you’ve ever discounted the importance of “emotional intelligence” because it sounds like rainbows and trust circles, it’s time to think again.

The meaning of EQ

Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ (for Emotional Quotient), is defined as "... your ability to understand other people, what motivates them, and how to work cooperatively with them."

Emotional intelligence can boost your ability to learn, listen, lead, sell, persuade, and negotiate more effectively.

Having a high EQ is about more than just being swell to work with. Emotional intelligence can boost your ability to learn, listen, lead, sell, persuade, and negotiate more effectively.

So let’s take a closer look at what drives your emotional intelligence and talk about how you can give your EQ a bump.

The 4 components of emotional intelligence

Renowned emotional intelligence researcher Daniel Goleman describes the four key components of EQ as:

1. Self-awareness — Recognizing our own emotions
2. Self-management — Controlling our own emotions
3. Social awareness — Recognizing the emotions of others
4. Relationship management — Influencing those emotions

In essence, emotional intelligence is about how you manage yourself and connect with others in moments of interaction. Whatever your job function, chances are you rely on the agreement or support or collaboration of others in order to achieve your own goals. Emotional intelligence can be a means to that end.

Savvy Psychologist's 6 Negotiating Tactics Based on Psychological Science explains more about how paying attention to emotions can help you negotiate better and build successful working relationships. Give it a read!

What does emotional intelligence look like in like practice?

Last year, I was coaching an executive named Darren. He was a sales leader known for having tremendous knowledge of his market, portfolio, and products. He had top-notch sales skills, but he was struggling to hit quotas and retain talent on his team.

When the feedback you hear is about how you show up versus what you know or deliver, it’s an indication that your EQ may need a boost.

I had the opportunity to interview some of his employees and his clients. Here are...

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11 Vegetables That Are Actually Fruits, Botanically Speaking

According to Lawrence M. Kelly, the New York Botanical Garden’s director of graduate studies, a fruit is “a mature, ripened ovary, along with the contents of that ovary” (seeds, for example). In other words, your salads, stir-fries, and other veggie-heavy dishes might feature more fruit than you think. Here are 11 so-called “vegetables” that are technically fruit.

1. Avocados

An avocado is a fruit comprising a three-layer pericarp that surrounds its single seed. That pericarp is made of the exocarp (the peel or rind), the mesocarp (the edible flesh), and the endocarp (a sometimes imperceptible layer that protects the seed). Since the endocarp is thin, an avocado is also technically a berry. Fruits—like peaches—with thick endocarps (pits) around their seeds are drupes, not berries.

2. Olives

Olives, meanwhile, are drupes—and therefore, fruit. If you crack open the pit, you’ll see the actual seed of the olive tree, or Olea europaea.

Want to learn more about olives and olive oil? Learn more with Nutrition Diva: Do Olives and Olive Oil Have the Same Health Benefits?

3. Corn

Each corn kernel is an ovary that contains a single seed. Since the ovary wall is directly fused to the layer surrounding that seed, it lacks the fleshy middle and dries out easily. These fruits are known as caryopses, or grains. So, yes, a fruit can also be a grain.

4. Cucumbers

Cucumbers are fruit in the Cucurbitaceae family of plants, which also includes watermelon and cantaloupe (among others). This means,...

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The Newbie’s Guide to Credit

When it comes to your financial health, life is so much better if you can keep a good credit score. While it is just a three-digit number, it will impact nearly every significant purchase or serious financial decision in your life. Getting a cell phone, renting an apartment, purchasing a car, buying a home, or applying for a student loan all take into account your creditworthiness. This is often captured through your credit score. If you haven’t done much with your credit, here’s your guide to making the most of your financial health.

When it comes to your financial health, life is so much better if you can keep a good credit score. 

Understanding Credit Scores

The three-digit number known as a credit score falls between the range of 300 to 850, with the lower the number the worse your credit. There are two models used for scoring, either the VantageScore or the FICO, and there are three different credit bureaus that may pull your score when the time comes. The FICO scoring is as follows:

• 850 to 800 (Excellent)
• 799 to 740 (Very Good)
• 739 to 670 (Good)
• 669 to 580 (Fair)
• 579 to 300 (Poor)

The VantageScore range is the following:

• 850 to 781 (Excellent)
• 780 to 661 (Good)
• 660 to 601 (Fair)
• 600 to 500 (Poor)
• 499 to 300 (Very Poor)

You can’t know for sure which credit bureau a lender will pull your score from, making it important that you already know your score when thinking of applying for a loan or credit line. Each individual is able to request a copy of their score once a year from the reporting bureaus, though there are online companies that offer free credit score checks.

Looking at the Scoring Factors

Your credit score is determined using complex algorithms and several different factors. Knowing what impacts the score the most will help as you manage your finances and works towards building excellent credit.

Payment History (35%)

How well you manage your payments for credit accounts makes up 35% of your total score. Paying bills on or before the due date keep this a positive impacting factor. However, paying just...

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How to Motivate Your Child: 5 Positive Strategies

I grew up the oldest of five siblings and was used to being a “take charge” kind of kid, even in young adolescence. So maybe it was my birth order that paved my ambitious drive to do extra chores around the house and score paying jobs at the age of 12. Whatever the case, I was a “mover and a shaker” and definitely not a couch potato.

My younger brothers and sister followed suit when it came to venturing into the workforce and earning a paycheck. All five of us had part-time jobs by the age of 15, and if we weren’t working at a pizza place or babysitting, we asked our parents what we could do around the house to earn a few bucks and buy things we knew they weren’t going to provide just because we wanted them. (Imagine that?)

Of course, my experience growing up isn't the same as the one kids face today. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, between April and July 2020 the number of employed youth 16 to 24 years old increased by a whopping 4.4 million to 17.5 million. So, going out and getting a summer job to keep busy and earn an income isn't an easy option for many young people. For those too young to join the workforce, there are plenty of distractions to compete for their attention, from chat apps to video games to TikTok.

So, how do we parents keep our kids motivated and engaged instead of hunkered over an electronic device? Here are five tips to try!

Tip #1: Expect your child to contribute when it comes to pricey items

Growing up, I remember how frustrated my siblings and I would feel when we asked my parents for a pair of trendy sneakers or money for something costly like a concert ticket or a new piece of electronic equipment. (Cell phones were nonexistent back then!) The request seemed simple enough, but my parents had other ideas. Instead, the answer was always "What can you do to help contribute to the cost of this?"

Dr. Ruth Peters, a psychology contributor to NBC's TODAY show and author of Overcoming Underachieving, agrees with my parent's philosophy. She says:

Daily in my practice, I see parents who have made the mistake of not taking the time and attention to teaching their children to be workers and achievers. These kids have learned to settle for less rather than to face and challenge adversity, to become whiners rather than creative problem solvers, and to blame others for perceived slights and lack of success.

Dr. Ruth Peters, "7...

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Surviving Pandemic Career Changes—Interview with Modern Mentor Rachel Cooke

These days, I sometimes find my eyes glazing over as I stare at a grid of Zoom zombies, my mind slipping to my dinner plans or to days when human contact felt more energizing. Then I pinch myself with the reminder that I'm lucky just to have a steady job, in a pandemic economy where many are facing unemployment, losing their businesses, having to reinvent everything they do, or working in jobs that literally put their lives at risk.

I truly am fortunate. But I've also been hearing from many, both employed and unemployed, who are struggling. For people whose livelihoods have been upended by the past year, there is daily stress in the uncertainty of their career futures. People like me who are fortunate to have jobs may experience burnout or feel stuck. What can we all do to keep our career momentum going, whether we're currently unemployed or missing our career mojo?

Joining me today to offer her compassionate yet concrete advice is Rachel Cooke, founder of Lead Above Noise, a team-, leadership-, and organization-development consultancy. She is also the host of the Modern Mentor podcast, a weekly show here on the Quick and Dirty Tips network where she informs, equips, and empowers her  listeners to define and create their own versions of professional success.

Have a listen to our conversation by clicking the audio player above so you'll get every nuance or read this lightly edited transcript.

Dr. Jade Wu

I am delighted to introduce you to Rachel Cook. She is the host of the fantastic modern mentor podcast. Rachel has built a career out of inspiring people to perform at their best, all with a dash of humor and fun. She's a consultant coach and speaker who's been featured in publications like Fast Company, Huffington Post, and many more. Rachel is also the founder of Lead Above Noise, a leadership and organization development firm with a mission to deliver the insights, tools, and strategies that empower people and teams to achieve their fullest potential. Welcome to the show, Rachel.

Rachel Cooke

Jade, I'm so excited to be here.

Lost jobs versus lost momentum

Jade

Let's talk about the big elephant in the room, which is that during the pandemic, a lot of people are facing unemployment, underemployment, or uncertain employment futures at just record numbers. So how can we cope with these employment-related stressors?

Rachel

There are so many people that are struggling or suffering right now, which is why I think my expertise and your expertise sit so nicely together. You know, I'll tell you,...

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'People' or 'Persons'?

Believe it or not, in the 1800s and early 1900s, many people objected to the use of “people” as I just used it. You weren’t supposed to write about “many people,” or “100 people” or so on. “Many persons” and “100 persons” was the right way to say it. Or at least there was a big debate at the time, with many people (persons?) arguing that “persons” was better, even though people had been using “people” all the way back in Chaucer’s time.

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage doesn’t record any reason for the debate; people just argued and debated about it.

Use 'people,' not 'persons'

Thankfully, those days are over, but the change was still quite recent. The AP Stylebook, for example, updated its entry to recommend “people” instead of “persons” sometime around 1980, according to the MWDEU.

Nowadays, “people” is almost always the right choice when you are talking about more than one person. 

“Persons” is rare, and the dictionaries that do include it often note that it is uncommon, archaic, or going out of style; although, it does still appear in legal writing, which is often more slow to change than general writing, and it appears in set phrases such as “missing persons.”

So the bottom line is that unless you’re writing legal documents, you’re using set phrases such as “persons of interest,” or you’re writing fiction and you want your characters to sound like they’re in the 1800s or early-to-mid-1900s, use “people.”

But now we have one more word to consider.

'Peoples' has a specific meaning

After a recent segment about “monies,” a plural of “money,” a listener named Alan commented that he didn’t like “monies” and also said as an aside that he didn’t like “peoples” either. So what’s up with “peoples”?

I’m not talking about the possessive, like “The People’s Court.” I’m talking about a second plural form, as in “peoples of the Andes” or “Indigenous Peoples Day,” a holiday that is sometimes observed instead of Columbus Day in the United States (and is sometimes written without an apostrophe).

Of course, “people” is already the plural of “person,” but “peoples” is another term for a race, group, or nationality; and both the AP Stylebook and The Chicago Manual of Style acknowledge “peoples...

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Fun with Animal Verbs

One of our listeners wrote in with a question about what she called “animal verbs” — verbs that take their name from an animal’s characteristic behavior. She wondered if there were a proper name for such verbs. 

Kathryn, there is a special name for animal sounds, at least ones that imitate the noises that animals make. They’re called onomatopoeia. For example, “quack,” “woof,” and “chirp” are onomatopoeias.  These words mimic the sounds that ducks, dogs, and birds make, respectively.

As far as we can find, there’s no special name for words based on the behavior of animals. We’re going to talk about them anyway today just for fun. 

Some such words are pretty obvious in their meaning. The verb “to ram” is based on the tendency of male sheep (aka rams) to crash into one another, horns first, when they’re competing for a mate. The verb “to hog” refers to pigs jostling one another for room at a feeding trough. And “monkeying around” refers to the sometimes-mischievous behavior of spider monkeys. 

Some animal verbs have a more subtle meaning.

Verbs Based on Mammal Behavior

To bird dog

For example, to “bird dog” means to conduct a determined search for something or to pester someone relentlessly. It’s based on the behavior of hunting dogs like Labradors and Spaniels. These dogs are used to find birds, flush them out of the underbrush, then retrieve them once they’ve been downed. 

To dog or hound

In a related vein, to “dog” or to “hound” someone means to follow someone or harass them persistently. This is based on the behavior of hound dogs like beagles, bassets, and bloodhounds. These dogs use their acute sense of smell to chase prey—or escaped convicts, in many a cops-and-robbers movie—across miles on end.  

READ MORE: Do you capitalize dog breeds?

To squirrel away

To squirrel something away means to save up or hoard something, much as a squirrel hoards nuts to eat during the winter months. 

Squirrelly

Interestingly, as an adjective, to say someone is “squirrelly...

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