7 Tricks to Cut Down Your Electricity Bill

 

Tip 1: Pull the Plug on Appliances

Even when you’re not using appliances, they still continue to use energy. So pull the plug when you’re done with the blender, toaster, food processor, even your television—everything except appliances that need constant power to preserve a special setting.

Tip 2: Insulate Your Outlets

Did you know that you could be losing warm (or cold) air through your electrical outlets? We placed some fireproof foam insulation under our outlet covers and switch plates, and were able to save several dollars a month on our utility bill.

Tip 3: Turn off Unused Electronics

One of the easiest ways to save money on electricity is to turn off electronics when you’re not using them. To make it easier, get a power strip like the SmartStrip, which powers down devices based on the device’s usage. For example, when you switch off your computer, the SmartStrip will cut the power to your monitor, printer, and scanner as well.

Tip 4: Use Lighter Paint

If you’re trying to decide between deep or baby blue for your walls, you should know that lighter colors of paint well help you use less energy, as they reflect the light and heat in a room better than darker hues.

Tip 5: Be a Night Owl

You may not realize that most electric companies charge more for power during the day than at night. Contact your local utility to find out whether this is the case in your area. If it is, make sure to do all your laundry, dishwashing, internet surfing, and other power-intensive tasks during off-peak hours. We noticed the difference on our electric bill, and you will, too.

Tip 6: Use Jars for Heaters

Here’s a neat trick for keeping your house warm without spending a cent in the fall and spring: Pour water into mason jars or glasses (we use cleaned-out salsa jars with their labels removed), and line them up along your windowsill. During the day, the sun will warm the water, which will gently warm any air getting through your window at night. To make the jars even more decorative, add ribbons and bows, or add food coloring to the water for some pretty windowsill reflections.

Tip 7: Watch Out for Cordless Phones

Especially if it’s an older model, your cordless phone can use a lot of electricity. Keep your energy bills down by making sure you dim the lights on the display (if possible), and by not cranking up the volume, which can force the phone’s amplifier to work twice as hard.

Get more great tips on our podcast by subscribing on iTunes or Stitcher! You can also sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook for our daily tips!

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

4 Tips to Face Your Fears

This week we take a little detour from our three-part series on toxic habits to conquer one of them. Last week we covered avoidance, the elaborate workarounds we undertake to steer clear of our fears. Whatever we avoid, the emotional gymnastics are exhausting and, in the long run, don’t even work.

What to do?  Today, we’ll cover 4 tips to face fear head on.

Fear-buster #1: Keep the Movie Playing

Each of us has an imaginary, heart-stopping moment we dread.  If you’re camera-shy, for example, you might worry about making a fool of yourself on video. And then finding it on the web.  With hundreds of comments confirming your ridiculousness. Or if you fear conflict, you may picture yourself lamely trying to assert yourself - and then bursting into tears.  

Whatever your fear, don’t hit ‘pause’ on your imagined horror story at the worst possible moment. Instead, keep the movie rolling until you’re safe. Maybe your mortifying web video fades into internet oblivion - or even better, you star in others that overshadow it. Or maybe your tearful argument starts a real conversation.

Bottom line, whenever you picture as your fear, push past the worst-case scenario to a safe conclusion. You’ll feel better prepared to handle the worst (which, by the way, will likely never happen.)

Fear-buster #2: Bring it On 

Eventually, we get tired of being scared. So  when you’re sick of holding yourself back, do a 180 with your willingness.

Be willing to stand behind that podium, get on the plane, ask for a raise, or do whatever it is you fear. Your willingness is mutually exclusive from your fear - you can be scared witless and still be willing to say to your fear, “Hit me with your best shot!’  You’ll be ready and, well, willing.

Fear-buster #3: Get it On Paper, Then Argue Back

If you keep a journal, this tip’s for you. First, write down what you’re afraid of. Well, okay - maybe first jab hundreds of pockmarks in your diary with a pencil lead, and then write down what you’re afraid of.

“I’ve wasted my life.” “No one loves me.” “Everyone thinks I’m a big loser.” Whatever your brain is screaming at you, get it out of your head and on to paper.

After a few days, go back and look over what you wrote. In the light of day, some of your fears might seem downright melodramatic. Or maybe you’ll realize they’re someone else’s twisted opinion of you, like an abusive partner, cold-as-ice parent, or middle school mean girl.  It’s their thought, but maybe you’ve internalized it over the years.  

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I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: You don’t have to jump in with both feet. On the contrary, facing fears means starting small.

Next, write a rebuttal to your fear. (Note: the first time you try this, you probably won’t be able to think of anything - but keep trying.) Write what your biggest fan would say. Let your inner defense attorney build an argument. Jot down all the evidence that undermines your fear, even if you think it shouldn’t count. Then rinse and repeat. Create a stockpile of counter-thoughts you can turn to the next time your fear button gets pushed.

However, if you can’t bear to face your “I suck” fears, or you can’t think of any evidence to the contrary, take your pock-marked notebook to a therapist you like and trust. He or she will help you shine a bright light on those fears - and I guarantee you’ll discover they’re not as strong as you think.  

Fear-buster #4: Face Your Fear in Snack-Sized Bites.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: You don’t have to jump in with both feet. Our party-hating friend Brian from last week’s episode is not going to burst through the door of his next party with a big grin and jazz hands.  

On the contrary, facing fears means starting small. Before Brian’s next party, he might plan a tiny, snack-sized social goal that doesn’t make him cringe. He might plan to ask a specific co-worker about her recent vacation, ask the new guy how he’s adjusting, or smile and say hi to three people.  

For your own version, if you just know deep down you’re not going to accomplish your snack-sized goal, you haven’t gone small enough.  Shrink it to two people, or one. When that knot in your stomach magically releases, you know you’ve gone small enough.  

Then, after you’ve accomplished your teeny goal, pat yourself on the back and go a little bigger. Brian is slowly re-wiring the part of his brain that screams at him “Don’t even bother trying, you awkward tool!”   He’ll never dance on the bar, but that’s okay. The goal of facing your fear is not to change your personality, it’s to help you be more flexible and more comfortable being yourself.  With practice and time, you’ll re-wire your brain’s equivalent thought, too.

Big asterisk: facing your fears, especially at first, will feel wrong. This is not a comfortable ride. But bit by bit, you’ll trade your fear for confidence.  

And here’s the thing: in the moment, you won’t realize that change is happening. Instead, you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come. You’ll find yourself doing whatever it is you were afraid of without thinking. And that’s when you’ll know all those butterflies in your stomach have flown away.

Next week, we’ll have the podcast’s first ever guest: Dr. Lisa Miller, a clinical psychologist, professor at Columbia University, and spirituality researcher. She’s the author of the new book "The Spiritual Child," and I got to sit down with her and learn what exactly spirituality is, why it’s important to teach it to our kids, and how to do so.

After next week, I promise we’ll finally get around to finishing our 3-part series, so be sure to tune in when we reveal toxic habit #3. In the meantime, share your comments and questions with me on Facebook!

Photo of busted fear courtesy of Shutterstock.

 

 

'Critique' or 'Criticize'?

A Twitter user with the handle @WeHateNick asked, “It is OK to use ‘critique’ as a verb? Do I ‘critique’ a design, or do I ‘criticize’ it?”

@GrammarGirl Is it ok to use "critique" as a verb? Do I "critique" a design, or do I "critisize" it?

— We Hate Nick (@WeHateNick) June 3, 2017

That turned out to be a slightly more complicated question than I expected because much to my surprise, in the past, it seems that a lot of people didn’t think critique should be used as a verb.

The History of 'Critique'

For example, I found a snipe at the word in 1992 in the popular press: A New York Times book reviewer criticized Raymond Carver, the author of a short story collection, for lack of precision in his words because, among other things, he used critique as a verb.

The New Fowler’s Modern English Usage, a guide to British English published in 1996, said at the time that the verb critique was being used “controversially” in American English.* (But the most interesting thing about that entry is that it also notes that the writer of the 1926 edition of the book had hoped that the noun critique would die out. Apparently, he thought it was pretentious. This word family can’t get a break! Everyone seems to be picking on it. You can’t be a verb. We don’t like your noun.)

Today, neither the Chicago Manual of Style nor the AP Stylebook nor the Cambridge Guide to English Usage mention critique as a problem word. The newest Garner’s Modern English Usage does talk about the history, but ultimately says that critique as a verb is now fully standard. So I wouldn't worry about using it. Unless you’re writing for people who were hard-core grammar geeks 20 years ago, use the verb critique if it’s the word that sounds right in your sentence.

The Meaning of 'Critique' and 'Criticize'

I do think critique and criticize have slightly different meanings though. You can critique something without being negative, but the way I think about it, when you criticize something, that means you don’t like it. So keep that in mind.

The History of 'Finalize'

This whole discussion also reminds me of an interview I recently read in which Peter Sokolowski from Merriam-Webster talked about the way President Kennedy was criticized for using the word finalize in the 1960s because it was a relatively new word at the time. It had only entered the unabridged dictionary in 1961, and the conservative copy editors of the New York Times didn’t think it was a word that should be in the dictionary or that the president should be using. And I found the reproachful Times article about the word finalize that Peter mentioned. It’s  from November 30, 1961, and here’s a bit of it:

In the course of his highly articulate news conference today, President Kennedy struck one grating note for lovers of the English language. He used that bureaucratic favorite “finalize.”... A grieving linguist commented today that “Eisenhower began the process, Kennedy is finalizing it.”

I doubt that any linguist today is grieving about the word finalize or the word critique for that matter, but it’s fun to go back and read about the words that were considered so grating or dubious in the past and that seem completely unremarkable today.

*What is controversial is the use of the verb to mean “to judge critically, to make a critical assessment of or comment on, not necessarily in writing.” Fowlers noted that critique to mean “to write a critique upon” had been in long use and was fine.

 

 

Famous Outlaws of the Wild West

Dive into the lives of some of the Wild West's most famous outlaws. Gunfights, gambling and gangs were just some of the troubling events taking place during the 19th century in Dodge City, the wickedest town in the American West. Tom Clavin hosts his fourth and final episode of Unknown History and gives more background information on the outlaws who shaped American history.

Listen in the top right hand player or on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Spotify to learn more about these Wild West pioneers:

• Clay Allison
• Belle Starr
• Frank and Jesse James
• Doc Holliday
• Dirty Dave Rudabaugh

Pick up a copy of Dodge City: Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson, and the Wickedest Town in the American West, from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Booksamillion, or iBooks--or if you prefer to listen, check out the audiobook on Audible. 

 

More Language Games Like Pig Latin

Last month, we talked about whether Pig Latin is a real language and came down on the side that it’s actually a language game, and I asked you if you know about other kinds of language games in English or in other languages, and I got a few interesting answers.

Aba Speak in German

A listener with the handle @halloleo on Twitter told me about a game called “Aba” that German kids use to exchange secret messages just like Pig Latin. He says, you add a B after each vowel and then add that same vowel. For example, for the word cat you’d see the A, add B after it, and then add another A to make cabat. One of Leo’s examples was Afrika, which with its three vowels become Abafribikaba.

@GrammarGirl In podcast 567 about Pig Latin you ask what game speak exists in other languages: Well, in German we have the “Aba” speak.

— leo (@halloleo) May 13, 2017

Le Verlan in French

Syelle Graves told me about a similar language game in French, called “Le Verlan,” so named because verlan is the reverse syllable order of l’envers (à l’envers means “backward,” or “inside out”). You know Syelle’s name because she’s one of my linguist guest writers. She says that in Verlan, you reverse the syllables, and for monosyllabic words, I believe you just reverse the initial and final consonants, and some of the results have entered the lexicon as regular slang. For example, the word meuf (femme backward) means “a chick,” and is used constantly. So is ouf (fou, or crazy backward). Another two-syllable word example is français (“French”), which becomes céfran. One thing that makes Verlan interesting to linguists is that it’s complex in how rule-governed it is (as is Pig Latin). 

Goose Latin in English

In the original Pig Latin piece, I mentioned that the Oxford English Dictionary includes other “Animal Latins” such as Hog Latin, Dog Latin, and Goose Latin, and Judith Abbott knew more about Goose Latin. She wrote, “Sometime in the 1950s, in some areas of the US, there was a different Goose Latin. It was a type of Pig Latin as far as being gibberish to confound parents, but used lf after each vowel sound in each syllable. Pig would be pilfig ... girl was gilfirl (try saying that fast!).” 

From her examples, it sounds as if, like in the German Aba Speak, you then add the vowel again after the lf. For example, P-I-G becomes P-I-L-F-I-G: pilfig.

And she continues “Don't even think about trying alfalfa … Kids could speak it with astonishing quickness; adults, not so well.”

Ubbi Dubbi in English

@ScienceGaGa on Twitter brought up Ubbi Dubbi, which was a language game popularized by the 1970s PBS kids show Zoom and also used by the character Mushmouth from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids which also aired in the ‘70s and ‘80s. 

@GrammarGirl have you thought about covering Ubbi Dubbi in an episode? https://t.co/D4CXO9PBZd

— Science ΓαΓα (@ScienceGaGa) May 5, 2017

Ubbi Dubbi is still talked about more than I would have thought it would be on Twitter. Maybe because Zoom had a reboot from 1999 to 2005, or maybe because the game was featured in an episode of Big Bang Theory where Penny and Amy used Ubbi Dubbi to try to talk without being understood by Sheldon and Leonard, who were, by they way, speaking Klingon.

In Ubbi Dubbi, you add ub before each vowel sound, so cat would become cubat and girl would become gubirl. And if you’re confused or want to play with it more, the PBSKids website has an Ubbi Dubbi translator. 

Pig Latin Online and in the Media

Yodatheoak on Twitter also pointed me to a Pig Latin translator online and reminded me that they used Pig Latin in the movie Monsters, Inc. The big, furry Sulley says, “Ooklay in the agbay,” to Mike to tell him to look in the bag.

Pig Latin has actually been used so many times in TV, movies, and popular culture that I can hardly even begin to tell you about them. It looks like one of the earliest examples is from 1963 when Kellogg’s Froot Loops had Toucan Sam call them Oot-fray Oops-lay, but TVtropes.org has more than 50 Pig Latin examples. And TVTropes.org also has a list of other language games that nobody told me about including Rövarspråket (which they say is Swedish); Farfallino (which they say is Italian); Konttikieli, Venekieli and Vitikieli (which they say are Finnish); and Jeringoso (which they say is Spanish). If you want to tell me about any of those language games, I’d love to hear about them too.

Tutnese in English

TVtropes.org also listed Tutnese (also known as Tut language and Double-Dutch) as another English language game, or as they called them, obfuscated languages, and I did some reading about that one on my own and discovered that it was invented by black slaves in the American South maybe as a tool to learn to read when literacy was illegal. 

The changes are linked to consonants instead of vowels, and it is much, much harder than Pig Latin. Every consonant is replaced by a different syllable, for example B becomes bub, H become hash, and T becomes tut. It’s serious, and I guess that’s not surprising because making sure you don’t get caught is a lot more important when you’re a slave than when you’re just a kid playing around so your parents or friends don’t understand you.

Thanks to everyone who did tell me about Aba Speak, Verlan, Goose Latin, Ubbi Dubbi, and more about Pig Latin.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Should You Get Acupuncture?

Acupuncture has gained a lot of attention from the medical field and media in the last ten years, seemingly used to assist in treatment of everything from headaches to hot flashes in modern medicine. However, it is certainly not a new method of healing. In fact, it’s one of the oldest procedures in the world, performed for nearly 2000 years.

What Is Acupuncture?

Acupuncture is likely the most common complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) therapy that is recommended by conventional physicians today. 

Having originated in China during the Taoism and Confucianism eras, acupuncture was created with a great emphasis on nature, a key concept of the two philosophies. It is focused on the theory of harmony and balance both within the human body and our relationship to nature. Therefore, it grounds its beliefs on some key concepts within the idea of nature, including the importance of yin/yang and the five elements (fire, earth, water, wood, and metal).

This technique has evolved throughout time in the last 2,000 years to include various methods, but currently most commonly involves the insertion of very fine metal needles through the skin, targeting anatomical areas of the body that reflect organs and health conditions that are "out of balance." There are traditionally 365 injection sites on the body, all following 14 channels that connect the body referred to as “meridians.” 

How Does Acupuncture Work?

There are various theories in regards to how acupuncture works. No one knows for certain. 

The proposed main method of action involves endorphin release, our body’s “feel good” chemical. Think of that moment of rush when your child was born, or every time you run into that secret crush who makes your heart flutter, or when you dance to your favorite music. Endorphins are being released by your nervous system in all of these moments, and their effects transmitted to other nerves that send that feeling of a “high” to your brain.  Similarly, acupuncture is thought to also stimulate the release of these chemicals, and therefore combat and negate any sensations of pain.

Various clinical trials have reported that acupuncture may be just as effective as sham acupuncture. Therefore, acupuncture's results may partially or completely be a result of the placebo effect.

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What Medical Conditions Does Acupuncture Treat?

There are more studies on acupuncture than we can currently count. However, some of the better quality trials currently support a potential benefit in the treatment of the following conditions only:

·         Chronic and acute pain

·         Headaches, especially migraine headaches

·         Hot flashes due to menopause

·         Nausea and vomiting

·         High blood pressure

·         Seasonal allergies

·         Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)

Selecting an Acupuncturist

When selecting an acupuncturist, make certain that:

·         You are referred to a practitioner within your medical insurance network if you have any acupuncture coverage.

·         They are licensed and certified by the National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine (NCCAOM) or the American Board of Medical Acupuncture (ABMA)

·         The practitioner is willing to work alongside your medical professionals, not as a separate entity.

·         They use sterile technique and needles.

Here’s my take on acupuncture with what we know about it at this time:

Given that acupuncture risks are minimal (as long as both proper and sterile techniques are being used by a well-trained and experienced practitioner), there's not much to lose in trying it for those medical conditions that have shown potential benefit from it. 

However, I would only recommend it as an aid to traditional therapies; it should work alongside your physician and Western medicine, not replace it. 

And even if it may be placebo, does it matter as long as it is effective? 

Share your ideas and learn more quick and dirty tips with us on the House Call Doctor’s Facebook and Twitter pages!  You can even find me on Pinterest!

Please note that all content here is strictly for informational purposes only.  This content does not substitute any medical advice, and does not replace any medical judgment or reasoning by your own personal health provider.  Please always seek a licensed physician in your area regarding all health related questions and issues.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

How to Choose the Right Partner for Life and Financial Success

When someone asks me about the most important factor for achieving financial success, my response usually takes him or her by surprise.

You might expect me to say that what’s most important for your financial health is living within your means, investing early, or creating a financial plan. While those are important, in my opinion, nothing is more essential to your financial success than the person you share your life with.   

In this episode, I’ll tell you 5 important traits to look for when you’re choosing a life partner, plus many to avoid. Not only will these characteristics help you choose a great partner, but you’ll also be more likely to have a successful financial life together.

And if you're already married or have a long-term partner, reviewing these 5 traits will be a great reminder for how to keep your relationship as healthy as possible.

Click here to sign up for the Money Girl Newsletter for more money tips—it’s FREE!

How to Choose the Right Life Partner

Full disclosure, I’m not a psychiatrist or a marriage counselor. However, my authority on choosing the right life partner comes from being happily married for over two decades!

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I met my husband in college and we got married right out of school. I feel very lucky that our relationship has remained super strong, even though we got married so young. I’m certain that I could never have achieved a fraction of my career or financial success if our relationship hadn’t turned out so well.

Not only can a bad relationship prevent you from making good decisions and reaching important financial goals, getting divorced can be a huge financial setback. Splitting up can leave you with a financial mess that’s extremely stressful and could take years to recover from.

I hear from divorced men and women all the time about financial struggles that resulted from their splits. So, my goal for this episode is to get you thinking about how to pick the right partner to begin with or how to turn around an existing relationship that isn't going as well as it should. 

In the beginning of a relationship, you generally have romantic chemistry with someone because of his or her physical traits or perhaps how they interact with you. It’s important to separate those who are fun to date from those you’d want to marry or settle down with for good.

So, what I'm recommending is that you don't get serious with someone unless they have a basic set of character traits that will also be good for your financial life together.

Here are 5 important traits to look for in a potential life partner:

Trait #1: High Self-Esteem

Having self-esteem means that you take pride and value yourself without being arrogant. You don’t let other people mistreat you or take you for granted.

People with high self-esteem might be described as confident, self-aware, and cooperative. But they can also say “no” when it’s appropriate.

Someone with high self-esteem typically has a good sense of his or her strengths and weaknesses. They accept their mistakes and try to learn from them so that they never happen again.

On the other hand, having low self-esteem means you feel unworthy and incompetent. You may depend too heavily on other people to make decisions for you, have a fear of taking risks, or tend to blame others for your mistakes.

Having a life partner with high self-esteem could translate into him or her being motivated to move up in their career quickly and seek more lucrative job opportunities.

They may also have the confidence to negotiate for a higher salary or seek out help with your personal finances when you need it.

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Trait #2: Responsibility

Responsibility means that you follow through on promises and don’t let other people down. For instance, a responsible person will feel compelled to show up to appointments on time because they respect other people’s time and feelings.

Being responsible is taking care of yourself without relying on other people to remind you when to be somewhere or what to do. Responsible people know they’re in charge of their lives and get things done on time, like showing up for work, paying bills, and managing finances.

Another aspect of responsibility is to avoid saying what you shouldn’t. In other words, if someone tells you something in confidence, keep it to yourself. Otherwise people will figure out that they can’t trust you.

See also: 5 Tools to Manage Money and Fix Your Finances

Trait #3: Honesty

One of the biggest financial problems a couple can face is dishonesty about money.

Honesty is a fundamental character trait in a life partner that’s non-negotiable, in my opinion. If you catch someone in a lie and they don’t have a really good excuse, like not wanting to spoil your surprise birthday party, I’d be ready to move on.

Now, I’m not talking about a white lie, like telling a friend that her new haircut looks great if she asks what you think. We all tell those kinds of half-truths from time to time to avoid unnecessary conflict.

But if someone is deceptive about places they go, people they’re with, how they spend time, or their personal history, that’s a major red flag that you should never ignore.

One of the biggest financial mistakes couples make is being dishonest about money. It’s not uncommon for one partner to hoard it from the other, open up secret credit accounts, or lie about their spending. This kind of behavior can obviously devastate your financial future.

It’s possible, but pretty unlikely, that a dishonest person could do a 180 and completely stop lying. The reality is that building your life around someone who just isn’t honest will probably end in disaster, so I’d steer clear.

One of the biggest joys in my relationship is having 100% transparency. Knowing that my husband and I will always be honest with each other, no matter what, gives me a huge sense of peace and happiness.

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So, never settle on a partner who lies to you or plays games about how they feel or what they want. Life is too short to live with someone who doesn’t know how to be direct and honest with you.

See also: 5 Smart Money Management Tips for Couples

Trait #4: Openness

Openness is a trait that’s similar to honesty, but has more to do with emotional intelligence. An open person is aware of his or her feelings, can express them, and wants to communicate in order to keep an emotional connection.

Being open can seem risky because you make yourself vulnerable to another person. For instance, telling your partner that you’re worried about your financial situation or are unhappy with your career path.

He or she may accept your concerns and want to explore it further with you or completely reject what you say. Being open can take some maturity and we’re all wired very differently when it comes to our comfort level with emotions.

What’s important to remember is that choosing a partner who tends to be closed emotionally could make communication about many issues, including finances, very difficult.

In order to share an authentic life with a partner, each of you needs the ability to share your emotions openly and with ease.

See also: 3 Money Mindset Tips and Tools for Surefire Financial Success

Trait #5: Curiosity

Being curious means that you’re interested in life, new ideas, and other people. You might enjoy adventure, learning new hobbies and skills, or asking questions to dig deeper into topics.

Curious people usually enjoy personal growth and want to look beneath the surface to see what’s possible for their lives. You want to learn new concepts and become a better person and partner.

I’ve found that curious people don’t assume that they have all the answers. They’re open to new ideas and the possibility of relearning something or changing their mind about it.

On the other hand, someone who isn’t curious probably views learning as a burden. Having a partner with little curiosity could mean that they don’t get interested in personal finances and never want to improve their ability to manage money wisely.

To sum up, high self-esteem, responsibility, honesty, openness, and curiosity are my top 5 recommended traits to look for when you’re choosing a life partner. Of course, there are many more traits that many of us want such as intelligence, sense of humor, positive attitude, common interests, and similar backgrounds.

Free Resource: Laura's Recommended Tools—use them to earn more, save more, and accomplish more with your money!

Character Traits to Avoid in a Life Partner

When it comes to traits that I recommend you avoid in a potential partner, some are much more serious than others. For instance, untreated addictions, abusive behavior, or uncontrollable anger.

When you see these traits rear their ugly heads in a potential partner, and they aren’t willing to get help immediately, I wouldn’t continue the relationship under any circumstances.

Remember that people always show you exactly who they are. It’s your job to handle that information appropriately. You’re responsible for having the relationship and the financial life that you want.

So never settle or fool yourself into thinking that you can change someone’s core character, because most people are happy being exactly who they are and really don’t want to change. Consider a potential partner a package deal because you’re going to get both the good and the bad.

My biggest recommendation when choosing a life partner is to really know yourself first. Figure out your own values, wants, and goals so you can choose someone who’s capable of understanding you.

Then be patient and take as much time as needed to get to know someone’s character, personality, personal history, and goals, so you’ll know with absolutely certainty if you’re well-suited for a lifelong, quality relationship.

If you're ready for help managing debt, building credit, and reaching big financial goals, check out Laura's private Facebook Group, Dominate Your Debt! Request an invitation to join this growing community of like-minded people who want to take their financial lives to the next level.

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